Jennifer and Lee

Ok, so maybe you traveled with Lee and is Lee’s slip for fuel that went into your rental car.
Starting to understand. Need to make this clear.
Send Lee’s voucher to TSgt _____ also.
Follow up with a phone call.

I need you to report to me on Saturday 10 April 0930

Delta Victor, Lt Col

Comments:

If you can’t tell, our commander is so kind and understanding and helpful… not.

What an epic POS! You have no idea how angry this makes us. We got sent to Dover Air Force Base in Delaware for our medical retirement boards in the Fall of 2009. Of course, we used the government credit card for official travel. For some reason, the commander and Hanscom Air Force Base who was the liaison for medical retirements in the National Guard both failed us. We initially assumed it was because the Guard doesn’t typically do medical retirements for their service members and this was total incompetence. We turned to the commander for help with the travel voucher reimbursement process because our initial vouchers with all necessary receipts were denied and we didn’t know how to fix it. There was no logical reason why these vouchers should have been denied.

This was a toxic leadership issue, not an us issue.

(We now suspect that the problem was most likely a matter of funding and the commander didn’t want to pay for anything related to our medical retirement out of his budget. He would rather us get bad credit because the government credit card went unpaid and punish us for making him look bad than help us get the f–k out of this toxic institution.)

We went back and forth with this commander for almost a year while this government credit card went unpaid because we had limited income that had to go towards the mortgage, food, and Lee’s kids. We would address whatever the latest issue was and the commander would come to us with another issue and reason why the travel voucher claim was denied. We were both struggling mentally and physically so it was exhausting going back and forth with this malicious rude as f–k commander. It felt like he was just running us in circles while he dismissed us as two human beings who were suffering. We were so sick of his crap and so overwhelmed with his callousness and belittlement that we started getting disrespectful as well. His behavior was a form of torture for us given all our health issues and the abuse we experienced at the hands of other toxic military leaders and Lee’s vicious ex-wife too.

We wanted peace, so much so that we cut off contact with the ex-wife and flew both his kids back to their abusive mother because we had no choice. We gave up fighting for custody given the outlandish and ridiculous behavior of this narcissistic psychopathic abuser and removed the problem from our life to prevent suicide. We wanted nothing to do with her and we went to Tennessee as often as we could to visit Lee’s kids. There was no working with this woman. She made everything a difficult mind f–k and given both Lee and I had brain injuries from military service and severe trauma, we could not take one more second of the toxic behavior. We were trying to heal and move on with our life. The crooked local cops and this commander compounded our trauma with dehumanization during a time in our lives where we didn’t have the energy or capabilities to stand up for ourselves and fight back. We were beat down.

I did all the talking for Lee and I while I was living with untreated trauma and chronic lead poisoning. Lee checked out. I did everything the commander asked me to do but my hands were tied. His demand to report to him on the next Guard weekend was anxiety producing. Why? So he could punish us for not paying a government credit card bill that he f–ked us on while we were going to food pantries, struggling to stay alive, and supporting two kids. The stress from everything that happened to us while we were severely disabled was overwhelming and pushed me to suicidal ideation. Lee was downward spiraling and understandably suicidal because he lost his kids. We were bullied by crooked cops and an abusive ex-wife the Air Force emboldened because she was an expert at manipulating the system to believe she was the victim. She learned how to manipulate “authorities” in the military justice system and it escalated when she used the same modus operandi to harm both of us with false allegations in the civilian justice system. There was no way in hell that I was going to step foot on that base property and get punished or admonished for their systemic failures and lack of concern for two people who were barely functioning and in desperate need of healthcare. My response to this commander clearly reveals the desperation.

In the end, this man f–ked around and found out when he got fired.

Sir,

Lee and I have been having PTSD issues frequently lately to the point that the police got involved 3 times.

Lee and I have separated temporarily. Lee is staying in Tennessee and is seeking services through the Johnson City, TN VA.

I am still getting services from Togus. My treatment has been intense and I am due a hospital stay in the fall.

We were not given any guidance or directions from Hanscom regarding the e-finance system. And of course because of our mental state, it got put on the back burner like everything else in our lives.

What do we do about Lee? He had to leave his job and we have ZERO money to fly him back. I would get such bad anxiety if I had to go to Guard without Lee, I think I would probably have a panic attack and go to the VA instead.

Jennifer

Comments:

This e-mail to the commander makes me more sad than mad given what I learned was the root cause of a downward death spiral. I was going back and forth with an unreasonable, unempathetic a$$hole who didn’t give two f–ks how we were doing or whether we lived or died. Anytime the commander contacted us, I got right back to him because of course I didn’t want to get in trouble to prevent abuse. This was my trauma response since I was a kid. But, I think the thing that bothers me the most is the obvious cognitive decline and desperation in this e-mail. At the time, I had untreated complex trauma and chronic lead poisoning and I was really struggling both mentally and physically after a re-traumatization at an Operational Readiness Exercise and a subsequent psychological collapse. Despite this commander’s authoritarianism and my obvious emotional and cognitive difficulties, I told the commander we were not doing well. I asked for his help so I could get us out of the military as soon as possible so we could move on and be free of this toxic, archaic institution. We were too traumatized and ill to get the medical retirement process figured out on our own. As it turns out, we both had brain injuries.

I would like to point out a few things. First, I can’t believe I wrote this e-mail to this commander. I definitely didn’t have control of my mental faculties but I did the best I could to be a good little compliant service member. I was in a really bad place because of Lee’s abusive ex-wife and her criminal activity regarding custodial interference, false allegations, and misuse of law enforcement across state lines; the way the Police Department mishandled two suicidal and very disabled veterans with Post Traumatic Stress; and now this Commander shitting all over us. I had already been through a lifetime of abuse both as a child and then as a service member for the entire time I served and worked for toxic leadership. Shortly after this e-mail was sent, I was hospitalized in a psychiatric unit in Massachusetts for suicidal ideation. This commander never asked us if we were doing okay or why we were involved with the police or if we needed any help. Lee was in Tennessee because he flew his youngest son back to his mother and I asked him to stay there for a little while so I could take a mental health break from his custody battle woes I wanted nothing to do with. I was in treatment non-stop trying to stay alive from the time I was hospitalized until today. I am still in treatment regularly because of the lifelong trauma and chronic lead poisoning that almost killed me and went undiagnosed until last year. We never did report to his office and I’m pretty sure the VA helped me with this based on the fact that I was deathly afraid of this commander and there was no way in hell I was going to step foot on that base alone.

In the end, the commander would not help us navigate the system and we were forced to contact our Senator in August 2010 as a result of his belligerent behavior.

Related Links:
Jennifer and Lee: Until Death Do Us Part
Military Injustice: Nowhere to Turn, Nowhere to Run, Nowhere to Hide; The Story of Kamisha Block and How U.S. Army Leadership Contributed to Her Death
“I Just Want to Disappear”: The End Result of a Lifetime of Dehumanization and Abuse
The Impact of Toxic Military Leadership: Lower Enlisted Combat Communications SatCom Technician Runs for Her Life, Transfers to Another State to Prevent Suicide
I Watched My Father Die From a Brutal & Painful Battle with Terminal Bone Cancer… And My Toxic Military Leadership Kicked Me While I Was Down
Workplace Betrayal & Ostracism: A Letter to the Commander Explaining How Toxic Military Leaders Impact PTSD (August 4, 2010)
Formal Letter to 101st Air Refueling Wing Leadership After Psychological Collapse on Active Duty Orders & Medical Retirement (July 29, 2011)
Air Force TSgt. Jennifer Norris Testified Before the House Armed Services Committee in Washington DC (January 23, 2013)
Parental Alienation: I Watched What Happened to My Father Happen to My Husband & It Broke Me
The Most Dangerous Moments of Our Life: Targeted by a Documented Abusive Cop with Impunity Who Shot A Suicidal Woman During a Mental Health Crisis Four Years Later
Maine Newspaper & Police Department Leaders Assist Documented Abusive Police Officer in Dehumanization of Disabled Veterans and Kids During a Mental Health Crisis
Surviving Injustice: Disabled Veterans Battling to Overcome a Defamatory Article in a Rural Maine Newspaper
“Veteran Advocates” Use Defamatory Newspaper Article & the Cops Who Created the Narrative to Bounce Medically Retired Disabled Veterans Out of the Washington DC Game
After Lead Poisoning Symptoms Dismissed by PTSD Diagnosis, It Results in Brain Inflammation, Fatigue, Muscle Weakness, Digestion Issues & Chronic Pain

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