Jennifer and Lee

Don’t talk to me about cancer unless you wanna witness a meltdown.

Cancer, my dad’s death, and the way my “family” and the U.S. military treated me are my biggest triggers. I realize most people don’t give a f*ck what I have been through. But I’m going to make sure future recruits understand exactly what they are stepping into if they should decide to serve in the military. It will be my life’s mission to find a way for those who need out of the military to break their contract for safety and mental health reasons. I will call it the “choose life” policy for now.

While I was stationed at the 265th Combat Communications Squadron (265 CBCS) in Maine, I was sexually harassed and assaulted by my Non-Commissioned Officer in Charge (NCOIC) or my supervisor and another higher ranking individual not in my chain of command. After an attempted rape by my supervisor during an Operational Readiness Exercise (ORE) on a base in Brunswick, Maine, I couldn’t take any of the behavior any longer. I was done. I was beat down. I was tired. I was scared. I was experiencing anxiety and depression and I was f*cking trapped with these mother f*ckers in both a work setting and an exercise and operational setting. There was no way in hell I was going to deploy anywhere with these a$$holes.

But, I would learn the hard way, once you sign up for the military, you cannot quit or leave and can be subject to federal charges that will follow you for the rest of your life, even if you are running for your life. Uncle Sam can fetch you and charge you and keep you prisoner. It’s the most archaic piece of sh*t federal system I have ever seen. I was forced to report in an effort to escape these two rapey f*cks and they were eventually forced to leave the squadron but they suffered no legal consequences and retired with full military benefits. I, on the other hand, would be treated like sh*t, stop lossed and poisoned with lead on an EPA superfund site base, and eventually permanently fall out with a medical retirement I had to utilize a Senator to obtain.

The U.S. military restricts your freedom of movement, exposes you to vile criminals, and then victim blames and retaliates against you if you report the illegal behavior. The retaliation at the 265th CBCS in Maine came from all angles but it was mostly my leadership or what the military refers to as the chain of command who were giving me the hardest time. After the cases were adjudicated, I had to return back to the squadron to complete my contract but this time it was me working for a bunch of f*cking pricks who didn’t want me there (because I ruin careers?). They couldn’t fire me so they did the next best thing and bullied me. What was their end goal? I couldn’t stand up for myself or leave so did they want me to kill myself? The worst part about the whole thing is they did this while I was supporting my father with his treatment for throat cancer and when we learned he had terminal bone cancer. So in effect, these people kicked me while I was down with the pain of the assaults and my father’s terminal cancer diagnosis. Their behavior and actions cemented the post traumatic stress for life and unfortunately it’s still going strong.

I’m having a hard time writing about this painful period in my life as I sit here and type this. I cannot begin to express to you the pain I went through and how the folks in the squadron who were bullying me f*cked me up beyond reproach. I am fighting back the tears as I speak. I put off dealing with this for over twenty years. It was hard for me to even think about this time in my life, let alone write about it. After reporting crime and experiencing retaliation for doing so, it shut me down. As a matter of fact a physical act of violence perpetrated by a friend of one of the sex offenders would render me mute for the remainder of my military career. I felt like I was dealing with some sort of mafia and much like when I was a kid, I started people pleasing and trying to be perfect to prevent abuse. Unfortunately, the folks at the 265th CBCS no longer wanted me at this squadron and they made that painfully clear. The betrayal ripped through my soul.

I was absolutely disgusted with the way the 265th CBCS leadership treated me while I was dealing with the aftermath of the trauma from crime on the f*cking job to the trauma of learning my dad had a terminal cancer diagnosis. My father was my everything and the only parent in my life who truly cared about me and my future. I was psychologically alienated from my father as a child so after college I rekindled a relationship with him and he was right there waiting with open arms. As a matter of a fact, the house he left me after he passed he bought with the intention of having me and my brother spend more time with him. He had a bedroom for both of us. My father supported me during the sexual assault investigations; my mother told me I must have done something to ask for it and kicked me out of her house because she couldn’t deal with my emotional outbursts anymore. The lack of empathy from leadership where my father’s terminal diagnosis was concerned was the straw that broke the camel’s back for me.

I no longer wanted to be part of an organization who would treat a human being like this. I still had at least a year on my contract but I could not spend one more second with these disgusting people. They didn’t give two f*cks about me and their behavior would push most people to suicide. I on the other hand wanted to spend as much time as possible with my dying father. I f*cking love him and he meant more to me than anyone on this planet. We were not serving during an active war in the 1996-2000 timeframe and when I was at the squadron, they gave me tasks that isolated me and kept me from interacting with others while at work. I felt so belittled and dehumanized. I didn’t understand why I had to stay at a job where they didn’t want me there, they didn’t want to train me, they were treating me like sh*t but giving me a hard time about taking any time off to spend with my dying father. What did these people want from me?

I was done and in February 2001, I found myself a new combat communications squadron in Cape Cod, Massachusetts. I had to sign up for another six years to get out of the contract with the 265th CBCS, but I didn’t give a f*ck. I didn’t want to lose my educational benefits given I was working on a Master’s Degree in Public Policy and Management at the Muskie School of Public Service. And I didn’t want to give up on the military quite yet either because while I was stationed at the 265th CBCS, I went to Airman Leadership School (ALS) and was selected to do a special assignment as an ALS instructor at Hanscom Air Force Base in Massachusetts in 2000. I was kind of excited to see where this role would take me. I had to stay in my critical career field (mobile satellite communications) on National Guard weekends in order to maintain my educational benefits but it appeared to be the perfect situation for my career moving forward. I always wanted to move out of Maine and down to Massachusetts.

By March 2001, I was officially a part of the 267th Combat Communications Squadron in Cape Cod, Massachusetts. I had some hope; this was a fresh start. I was elated. I thought I was the luckiest girl alive because I not only got to be in the National Guard in Cape Cod but I would be in Massachusetts where I could see myself living someday. I was stoked that I could stay on base for free and explore Cape Cod while I was there. I always loved my road trips and exploring back roads and towns and I was really looking forward to exploring all of Cape Cod. And I did. I had a blast. I even studied Cape Cod for my Master’s Degree and raved about how ahead of the game they were when it comes to community planning and development. They had to be. They are landlocked and have a fragile ecosystem that needs to be protected. They also use zoning to protect the landscape and the cityscape so it won’t turn into the ugly strip malls you find in Maine.

The number one reason I liked the arrangement in Cape Cod was because my new Commander and I had something in common. We were both from Maine and he lost his dad so he was empathetic to how I felt about my situation. I asked him to work with me while I spent as much time as possible with my father who was dying of terminal bone cancer and then I would give him everything I had for the remainder of my contract. He understood why this particular time in my life was important to me and was willing to support me while I made my father the priority. We didn’t know how much longer he had to live because he lived past the six months the doctor’s gave him. My commander asked me to go to Keesler, Mississippi in March 2001 for three weeks for some training and this is when I met my husband Lee at the NCO club on base.

Although Lee and I clearly had feelings for one another, Lee was stationed in Alaska and I was stationed in Massachusetts. I was also very clear with Lee that my father was my priority. I was the one person my father had while he was going through this scary and lonely process and I was not going to let him down. I was having a very hard time psychologically because I was getting closer to my father only to lose him to cancer in the end. But it didn’t matter, he needed my love and nurturing and I was here for it. We realized how much alike we were, we laughed, he shared life wisdom with me, and he also prepared me for my new unexpected role as a homeowner, an event that changed the trajectory of my life. Everything appeared to be going okay and then one day two different planes hit both of the Twin Towers in New York City.

Unbeknownst to me at the time, two 102nd Fighter Wing F-15s at my new base in Cape Cod were the first jets scrambled to New York City to keep an eye on the skies after the terrorist attacks. This mission (Operation Noble Eagle) continued for roughly six months. The Massachusetts National Guard is known for being the “first in the nation” and they lived up to this legacy. I was actually impressed with the missions at Otis Air National Guard Base. It was the home of the Fighter Wing, the 267th CBCS and the 253rd Communications Group. The Cape Cod Space Force Station (name changed in 2021) is also located on the Massachusetts Military Reservation or Joint Base Cape Cod. At one point Lee and I discussed him transferring to this duty location so we could be together. But at the time, it was difficult to get a position because we heard the Air Force was planning to replace active duty personnel with contractors.

What should have been a fresh start at a new squadron would turn into my worst nightmare. First of all I was getting treated like sh*t from enlisted leadership in the satellite communications work center right from the get go so I was confused. I would later learn from someone close to those in the chain of command that the 265th CBCS contacted my work center to warn them of the “troublemaker” they were inheriting. This phone call would be the beginning of the end of my mobile communications career and mental health as I knew it. These new military leaders were quick to believe the lies they were told about me and they didn’t hide the fact they didn’t want me in the work center. Another supervisor in a sister shop shared with me that “women never make it in satcom” and he f*cking meant it. My thought was I will show them that I am not just any woman and can get the job done. I would quickly learn this is a difficult task if your supervisory team refuses to train you and ultimately doesn’t want you there.

At the 267th CBCS, they pretended like I didn’t even exist and trained the men in the shop; I was only good for sweeping, cleaning, and other b*tch type administrative work. Working hard is my trauma response since I was a kid and it worked great in a setting like the U.S. military. It made the time go by faster and I am a self starter so I figure sh*t out. I don’t like routine. I like fast paced, ever changing environments that challenge me. I decided if these pricks weren’t going to personally train me that I would do my best to hang out around where folks were being trained and take notes. I turned the on-the-job training into a standard operating procedures for all the other airmen who came into the shop so no one would ever be without the knowledge to do the f*cking job. I am not your b*tch. I am a satellite communications technician, I have a brain, and you stupid f*cks are not going to force me to work with you and just sit in a goddamn corner. I was disgusted with the leadership at this squadron but I learned from the first squadron the best way to stay safe was to do what I was told and keep my mouth shut.

After 9/11, sh*t got real. And unfortunately while I was at Guard weekend on September 15, 2001, I would be met by my commander and a chaplain in my work center only to be told that my father died by suicide. I fell to the floor in agony and pain and said over and over “I didn’t get to say goodbye.” My commander also told me that I had been stop lossed and would need to report back to the squadron in roughly a month. I had 30 days or so to grieve. I could no longer function after the sexual assaults, physical beat down, retaliation by military leadership, my father’s battle with terminal cancer, and now his suicide. I legit was dissociated while serving in the U.S. military. I was no longer a functioning human being. I became a people pleaser who worked hard to prevent abuse from a toxic chain of command. I resorted back to the same behaviors I exhibited as a child. It was my fall back when I was being abused: if I can make them happy, be perfect, and never make mistakes, they will leave me alone. Unfortunately, it didn’t work in the home and it didn’t work in the military either but it’s all I knew.

The stop loss would last for over four years. The reality of the situation is the U.S. government stop lossed me with leadership who did not want me there. Whether it was because of the lies the 265th CBCS told them or the fact that I am a woman, it doesn’t matter. It was hell for me to even exist in this situation. I could not run and I could not hide. They depended on me but hated me. They didn’t want me there but punished me if I wasn’t there. They didn’t train me but had the gall to shame me for any perceived mistakes. I didn’t make mistakes because I followed all the Air Force rules and regulations, studied the technical orders, trained myself and trained others, and cleaned up the entire squadron to include creating training records for all personnel. I taught my team how to be self starters. If you know what is expected of you and what the standards are, you have something to strive for. I showed them how to use the existing resources to get the job done and done right.

What did our toxic leadership do? Modeled awful behavior, didn’t train all personnel (had favorites), micromanaged personnel, jumped on opportunities to punish folks as opposed to praise them, and didn’t listen to feedback from those of us who were out in the field doing all the goddamn work. They went out of their way to treat me like sh*t in front of other people. They humiliated me every chance they got. They hauled me into “meetings” about my performance (it was all made up bullsh*t), they denied me promotions while they handed them out to others who did far less than I did, and they wouldn’t give me any time off. What did these people want from me? You don’t want to train me. You don’t want me to be there. But you depend on me and won’t let me take time off. And use every chance you have to reprimand me for made up crap. I was f*cking miserable and the way they treated me was hurting the morale of the entire team. The lower enlisted felt bad for me.

I wasn’t coping well mentally. I was on the verge of tears, sad, depressed, tired, and beat down. My team acknowledged the ill treatment but I would stop them because it was like if I admitted it was real then I wouldn’t be able to cope. So I would stop them dead in their tracks from talking about it because tears would instantly come to my eyes when they acknowledged it. I treated it like if I pretended it didn’t exist, I would be able to cope better. I kept quiet, took the punches, stood up for myself with the ridiculous stuff, and trained myself out of a job so I could get the f*ck out of this squadron as soon as possible. Meanwhile, I was getting headaches, had chronic pain, and was vomiting frequently. I just assumed all the stress from my toxic leadership was making me sicker. I was really struggling with these a$$holes. They were legit kicking a traumatized person while they were down. They may not have known about the sexual assaults and retaliation in detail but these mother f*ckers knew that my father died by suicide and I was devastated… and that’s all I needed to know to know they were evil.

My commander knew I wasn’t doing well because he put me on a non deployable status. But he also put me on orders to run the satellite communications work center while the rest of the team was deployed. He was supposed to have two deployable packages so he needed me to train any and all new personnel so our second deployable package was mission ready. Thankfully, I was able to learn how to do the job on my own, created standard operating procedures, and enjoyed training the new troops. I also knew that if I trained someone to do the job, I could eventually leave this hostile work environment. I legit needed to train myself out of a job so I could escape. The funny part is the enlisted leadership didn’t want me there but the Commander did. He had no idea how badly they were treating me. I went to him multiple times asking for a transfer back to Maine but he denied me every time no matter how much I plead with him. I told him I wasn’t doing well because of my dad’s death and eventually told him about the sexual assaults too. I tried to make a case for my mental health but it fell on deaf ears.

I lived, worked and played on Joint Base Cape Cod while I was stop lossed for four f*cking years. I inherited one of my father’s houses so I couldn’t afford to maintain this home and pay for an apartment in Massachusetts. I had to live in old Air Force dorms and it was a nightmare. The dorms were dirty. They had a dorm manager but I don’t know what the f*ck they did aside from hand out keys. I had my own room and was the only one who lived in the dorms during the week. I never knew who I would have for a roommate on Guard weekends. There was no kitchen. The community room smelled and was nasty. The microwave was dirty. The bathrooms were dirty. I used flip flops in the showers and was careful never to touch the walls. I have always been a germophobe so I refused to clean these dingy bathrooms. I kept my room nice and clean and that was it. I had to eat off base because there was no healthy food on base. I was f*cking lonely so I went for walks and runs near the ocean and explored Cape Cod.

I’m going to do a deep dive on the specifics of this hostile work environment but let’s just say that things did not end well. What I find interesting looking back in retrospect is once the stop loss was lifted, I wanted out of the squadron as bad as they wanted me out. They did not waste any time looking for a reason to get rid of me. They would present me with bogus paperwork threatening to take the E-6 stripe I worked very hard for and I wasn’t having any of it. I legit sacrificed myself both mind and body for these mother f*ckers despite being the biggest hot mess express behind closed doors and none of my hard work and contributions to the squadron as a whole mattered. I worked my f*cking a$$ off for nothing. These sociopaths stop lossed me while I was literally dissociated from multiple traumatic events in the military alone, pushed me to my limits both physically and mentally, and then threw me away like trash as soon as they could.

I’m pretty sure the chain of command was not expecting the response they got given I kept my mouth shut and just took the punches for 4 plus years. But this time, they put the bias and discrimination in writing and I used it to prove my point to a legal authority when they threatened to give me paperwork for substandard performance. I was the last person anyone in that squadron would accuse of substandard performance and these guys were not going to put this bullish*t in my personnel folder nor were they to ever refer to these lies again. Of course, my Commander covered his a$$ and made the whole thing go away by claiming there was no evidence to substantiate my claims but at least he did the right thing and let me leave the squadron and never look back. It would be shortly after this event that Lee would contact me while he was living in South Korea and we would rekindle our relationship. I left the evil of the 267th leadership and went straight into the loving arms of my husband.

Three years later in 2008, I had a psychological collapse during an operational readiness exercise at a new squadron that rendered me useless. This event on active duty orders would end my career. I didn’t know what happened at the time but I do now. The combination of the hard charging, trauma, abuse, retaliation and lead poisoning I got from the 265th and 267th CBCS caught up with me thirteen years into my dysfunctional military career. I could no longer function mentally or physically. My nerves were fried, my brain was scrambled, and I could no longer keep up the appearance of being okay. I just had to admit defeat and get some help so that’s exactly what I focused on. I didn’t fight the medical separation and retirement because I was a hot mess and the thought of being controlled by the U.S. military for one more second made me panic and want to die. I was done. I was not going to heal in the same environment that broke me.

I’ve been sick the entire time I have been married to Lee. He’s been taking care of me in one capacity or the other for the last sixteen years. Although I was sick and undiagnosed for the majority of the time I lived in Maine, my health was going down hill and in 2019, I was desperate for treatment. I started reaching out for help only to be blown off and referred to mental health specialists for depression. I told them I didn’t feel depressed; I felt like I was dying and that was no joke. Now I suspect this is when Lyme disease caught up with me but I had problems before Lyme disease. I would go to the doctor and they would tell me I just need to eat right and exercise. I did that. I had periods where I thought I was getting better and then my health would tank again. I would take one step forward and take two steps back. My symptoms were being blamed on post traumatic stress and getting older. No mother f*ckers, you should have listened to me and ordered some additional testing or sent me to a specialist.

After my health tanked in 2019 and it was visible in my body, there was no excuse for not helping me. Doctors legit broke their oath to a patient. I had visible signs of disease and no one gave a flying f*ck in Maine. I was absolutely mortified with the gaslighting. They not only wouldn’t listen to me but they fat shamed me when in fact we have since learned I had several infections in my intestines and was in danger of sepsis. I couldn’t eat without pain. My stomach looked like I had a basketball inside it. I was fatigued. My brain wasn’t working right anymore. And Lee and I felt completely isolated and alone in rural Maine. My family didn’t give a f*ck; his family didn’t give a f*ck. And no one was going to save us, so we saved ourselves. We both crashed and burned medically but we found an acupuncturist who got us well enough to sell our home furnished and get the f*ck out of the toxic and unaccountable State of Maine. She not only helped us with the detox process but she also helped us create an anti-inflammatory diet. It helped a lot.

Fast forward to 2022 and Lee and I are living in our new apartment in Southern California. We found a Lyme literate and rare disorder doctor; he’s been helping both of us come back from the dead ever since we moved here. He is the answer to our prayers. We couldn’t advocate well for ourselves for the first year yet this doctor took over our healthcare and treated us. He got us to a functioning state again. We’re still struggling to this day but we have come so far. We learned that I had at least 20 different diseases but the most damaging was Lyme disease and lead poisoning. It took me over two decades to figure out what was wrong with me. I had lead poisoning and I finally had answers for my suffering. The EPA can be quoted saying no amount of lead in water is safe. And now I know why. The lead enters the body via ingestion, absorption, and inhalation. It circulates throughout the body and interrupts the way the cells work in the body. And if it goes untreated, it eventually settles in the bones and teeth.

In April 2023, I was still sick as foxtrot because we hadn’t figured out that I had lead poisoning yet and this is when I would find out about the drama at Joint Base Case Cod, my old base in Massachusetts. A low ranking airman Jack Teixeira was arrested and charged with retention and transmission of national defense information and unauthorized removal and retention of classified documents or materials. The big Air Force swooped in and apparently shut down their intelligence mission, fifteen airman (higher ranking enlisted NCOs and officers) were investigated and reprimanded, and Jack Teixeira pleaded guilty and has been sentenced to sixteen years in federal prison. If you read the article about the 15 airmen who were reprimanded, you will clearly see that they minimized the wrongdoing of the chain of command, gave them a slap on the wrist, and moved them to new positions. No one lost their careers.

The report details four separate instances where immediate superiors were aware of “questionable activity” and had a more complete picture of Teixeira’s “intelligence-seeking behaviors and intentionally failed to report the full details of these security concerns [and] incidents … fearing security officials might ‘overreact.'”

The investigation concluded that if “any of these members [had] come forward, security officials would likely have facilitated restricting systems/facility access and alerted the appropriate authorities, reducing the length and depth of the unauthorized and unlawful disclosures by several months.”

In short, according to the Air Force’s watchdog, someone speaking up at Teixeira’s base could have curbed his suspected leaks.

Air Force disciplines 15 airmen in investigation of accused leaker Jack Teixeira

In the fall of 2023, I would learn that I have chronic lead poisoning, high levels of lead in the body as a matter of fact. I finally had answers for years of unexplained sickness, migraines, chronic pain, fatigue, mental health problems, central nervous problems, and burton’s line. The untreated lead poisoning lead to inflammation of the brain or encephalitis and inflammation in the intestines which harmed gut microbiome and eventually lead to a blocked intestine in 2021. Once I got over the shock of the diagnosis, I began to wonder where the f*ck I got lead poisoning from. So I started putting some thought into my past. I have been with Lee since I left Joint Base Cape Cod so I knew I didn’t get the lead at my third base or at my home because Lee got heavy metal testing the same time I did and he’s okay. So I googled Joint Base Cape Cod and lead and there it was. Joint Base Cape Cod is an EPA superfund site because of lead in the groundwater and soil. I lived and worked on that base for four years. I knew this is where I got the lead because this is when I started vomiting, getting debilitating migraines and all my chronic pain problems started. Vomiting is a hallmark symptom of lead poisoning.

I found it interesting that while I was processing how f*cking shady and incompetent the 267th Combat Communications Squadron was because of the way they treated me and poisoned me with lead, the nation was watching the base’s military leadership failures in real time with this national security incident. There would be no 102nd Intelligence Wing if it wasn’t for Senator Ted Kennedy. The base was deemed an EPA superfund site in 1989 because lead was found in the water in a local Cape Cod community; the base was taken over by the EPA in 2004 while I was stationed there; and the 102nd Fighter Wing was shut down by Congress in a 2005 Base Realignment and Closure decision. I was there the day Congress made the decision and handed the base infrastructure over to the Coast Guard. Everyone was devastated and the wing commander let employees leave early in what looked like a funeral procession. The congressional actions felt so cold and callous until I did the research and found out why they wanted to shut the fighter wing down. It was the largest contributor to lead in the soil and groundwater and was too much of a threat to the fragile ecosystem in Cape Cod. It was moved to another location.

Meanwhile, Senator Ted Kennedy hooked these folks up at Otis Air National Guard base with a new mission and the 102nd Intelligence Wing was born. These same folks went from a Fighter Wing to an Intelligence Wing. Conveniently, they would also be able to continue to live in Cape Cod where they owned homes and had mortgages. And as it was all playing out, the lower enlisted were getting sold out so folks who wanted to safeguard positions at the new wing would be set up until retirement age. I was in a geographically separated unit on Joint Base Cape Cod so we were not impacted by this particular set of circumstances but I listened to folks who were negatively impacted. In my research efforts, I learned the brand new buildings constructed for the 267th Combat Communications Squadron in 1996 were now the new home of the U.S. Geological Survey and the mission was no more in 2016. Apparently there is a 267th Intelligence Squadron located on Otis Air National Guard Base.

In 1996, the 267th was relocated to Otis Air National Guard Base on Cape Cod, Massachusetts where they conducted home station activations for Operation Allied Force in 1999 and stood up the Theater Deployable Communications Schoolhouse. The 2000’s saw more of the same steadfast service from the 267th with Presidential activation to Masirah Island Air Base, Oman from Sep 2001 – Sep 2002; Presidential activation to “Base X”, Southwest Asia from Jan – Jun 2003; Air Expeditionary Force deployments to Kirkuk Regional Air Base, Iraq from Mar – Jul 2003 and Sep 2007 – Jan 2008; followed by Air Expeditionary Force deployments to Kandahar, Afghanistan in 2008, and Balad, Iraq from Oct 2010 – Apr 2011. State side, the 267th deployed to support the Boston Marathon Terrorist Attack response 15-16 April 2013. On 1 July 2016, the 267th Combat Communications Squadron was redesignated as the 267th Intelligence Squadron.

267th Intelligence Squadron Background – 102nd Intelligence Wing

Ever since I found out about the lead poisoning I have been researching Joint Base Cape Cod. The base is still an EPA superfund site due to lead, PFAS, and other environmental hazards, it’s still not cleaned up because it will take years and millions of dollars, and the Army National Guard wants to put in a new machine gun range that they cannot guarantee will not poison the only aquifer the local community has. The sheer denial on the part of the military when the EPA plume maps clearly indicate the base has extensive problems that can and will impact the local communities if not dealt with swiftly and consistently is maddening. I feel so betrayed by this base and these military leaders. Not once did anyone say anything about lead in our water on base. Not once did anyone ever give us a briefing on the signs and symptoms of lead poisoning. We were forced to drink the base water during exercises and inspections. The Air Force dorms still have lead in the pipes and come with a flushing warning to this day. Since they don’t want to help current or past service members stay toxin free, I will. I lost over twenty years of my life to chronic lead poisoning and the Massachusetts Air National Guard is guilty.