Editor’s Note:
After looking at this picture and remembering why we were having such a hard time in the 2010-2011 timeframe, it brought back a lot of emotions for us. We are sad and angry about our circumstances in Maine… but also thankful for our love for one another. Our love and our love alone got us through this nightmare in Maine.
After re-reading this poem from Jennifer to Lee for the first time in over a decade, we went for a walk to help us process the overwhelming emotions it created. We went from “I fucking hate every single person in Maine” to “I will ruin all of them” to “I can’t even believe this shit happened” to “we didn’t do anything to anyone.” And then Lee reminded Jennifer that doing the right thing interfered with people not doing the right thing.
Greed was the #1 motive in every single circumstance.
We didn’t take pictures of ourselves in 2011 because we were not doing well despite trying and doing our best to keep going. After the institutional betrayal from the Rumford Police Department, to no fault of our own, it finished us and we were permanently damaged and have been suicidal ever since. We really didn’t think we would make it through this time period. We both quietly absorbed the evil and we no longer functioned as people. We couldn’t feel. We lived in fear. We didn’t trust anyone. And we just wanted to be alone in our home safe and protected from the outside world. We were in survival mode.
The year 2010 was one of the most difficult time periods in our life because we experienced a triad of evil in the form of a corrupt Police Department, a retaliatory military Commander, and a bitter, abusive, greedy ex-wife. After a lifetime of dehumanization and abuse and finally a way out of the hell folks call honorably serving your nation, we wanted to die. We thought getting out of the military would help us feel safe again and it didn’t. We realized we were in as much danger on the outside as we were in the military. Abuse of authority is abuse of authority.
The unwarranted evil, anger, and unbridled hate was the final nail in our coffin… or so we thought. You can clearly see in this picture of us that we indeed love one another despite feeling dead inside after all the abuse we endured our entire fucking lives. Both of us have been failed by all authority figures from childhood to military service until it made us severely disabled veterans at forty years old. We can indeed prove that as abused children, we learned to take a beating well but that doesn’t mean we want to take the beating. A lack of safety will kill you.
We’ve been afraid to reach out to anyone or say anything because it would put us in more danger. We had to move out of state for a second chance at life.
I wrote this poem for Lee because he checked out on me after his abusive ex-wife weaponized our local police department with false allegations and he lost custody of his two sons. We both checked out until we moved to California and got some healthcare almost a decade later.
A Valentine’s Day Poem for Lee
By Jennifer N.
February 14, 2011
Valentine’s Day is a way to show love,
It comes straight from the heart and God above.
Whether it’s romantic getaways or diamonds that they shower,
You’d be amazed at the effects of a bouquet of flowers.
Lee has always thought of me on all the important days;
I wasn’t able to show him deep down I was thankful for his sweet ways.
I finally bought him a card that said everything just so,
I left New York* on a mission; where did that damn card go?
So instead of giving him the perfect store bought card,
I wrote this heartfelt poem for him and it really wasn’t hard.
I love you with all my heart… and I always will.
We were meant to be together, despite all the hills.
We both should take things slowly and day by day for now,
We are both already overwhelmed; only we know the why or how.
We struggle with our past mistakes and the prices that we paid,
But we need to focus on the now so the love we have won’t fade.
I’m willing to give our relationship everything I got.
What do you say Lee? Are you ready for true love or not?
I will never, ever betray you if we continue to build on the new;
I meant it when I said “yes,” I meant it when I said “I do.”
*Jennifer went to a PTSD program at the Batavia VA Healthcare System in New York
Related Links:
Jennifer and Lee: Until Death Do Us Part (2024)
The Emotional Toll of Military Injustice: No Justice, Retaliation, Zero Healthcare, Toxic Military Leadership, & CPTSD (2010)
Town Attorney Informs Town of Rumford Leadership They Must Release the “Aggressive, Intimidating” Police Officer’s 2005 Disciplinary Action Letter (2010)
Finance Committee Member Receives First Menacing Anonymous Letter From Bad Actors in Rumford, Maine (2010)
Workplace Betrayal & Ostracism: A Letter to the Commander Explaining How Toxic Military Leaders Negatively Impact CPTSD (2010)
Formal Letter to 101st Air Refueling Wing Leadership After Psychological Collapse on Active Duty Orders & Medical Retirement (July 29, 2011)
After Lead Poisoning Symptoms Dismissed by PTSD Diagnosis, It Results in Brain Inflammation, Fatigue, Muscle Weakness, Digestion Issues & Chronic Pain (2024)
I Watched My Father Die From a Brutal & Painful Battle with Terminal Bone Cancer… And My Toxic Military Leadership Kicked Me While I Was Down (2024)
Parental Alienation: I Watched What Happened to My Father Happen to My Husband & It Broke Me (2024)
Maine Newspaper & Police Department Leaders Assist Abusive Police Officer in Dehumanization of Disabled Veterans During a Mental Health Crisis (2024)
Surviving Injustice: Disabled Veterans Battling to Overcome a Defamatory Article in a Rural Maine Newspaper (2024)
“Sexual Assault Advocates” Use Defamatory Newspaper Article & the Small Town Cop’s Lame AF Narrative to Bounce Medically Retired Service Members Out of MST Advocacy (2024)
The Most Dangerous Moments of Our Life: Targeted by an Abusive Cop with Impunity Who Shot A Suicidal Woman During a Mental Health Crisis Four Years Later (2024)
Rumford Maine Police Department Roughs Up Citizen After Traffic Stop for Taillight Out; Behavior Clearly Demonstrates the Corruption We Experienced Too (2025)
“I Just Want to Disappear”: The End Result of a Lifetime of Dehumanization and Abuse (2024)
Jennifer and Lee 