MST = Military Sexual Trauma
RELATED STORIES:
HIGHLIGHTS:
- Childhood Trauma and Parental Alienation
- Military Life, PTSD, and Medical Retirement
- After Military Service, Lee Wants to Be With His Kids
- Lee’s Ex-Wife Weaponizes the System to Regain Full Custody
- Ex Mother-in-Law’s Facebook Post After False Domestic Violence Arrest
- Text Message From Oldest Son After False Domestic Violence Arrest
- “Domestic Altercation Victim” Charged with Felony Alcohol Charge
- The Aftermath of Narcissistic Abuse and Losing Custody of the Kids Permanently
- Jennifer is Empowered to Tell Her Story of Military Crime, Injustice and Retaliation
- More Narcissistic Abuse from Fame Seeking “Veteran Advocates” & Sychophants
- Rape Crisis Center “Director” Weaponizes the System Using “Suicidal Veteran” Narrative
CHILDHOOD TRAUMA AND PARENTAL ALIENATION:
My life has been nothing but a lesson in dehumanization and abuse since my mother kidnapped me at the age of two and left the State of Colorado and my loving father behind in the dust. After she left him, I no longer had a loving parent to guide me, support me, and encourage me the way my father would have and did when given the chance. She alienated me from my father with psychological manipulation to punish him while simultaneously psychologically abusing and abandoning me because I f*cked with her second meal ticket husband. Both of them were toxic and more toxic together and investigated by the State of Maine after the school observed bruises on the back of my legs when I was in the sixth grade. But the State too would abandon me and let me downward spiral into alcoholism due to retaliation and no treatment for the negative effects of childhood trauma and parental alienation. The alcoholism conveniently used against me to dehumanize me and hide the ill effects of abuse. Of course, “she’s crazy,” “she’s lying,” and “she deserved it.”
I’m all done with the victim blame game.
I left the house at the age of eighteen on my own and no one in my “family” helped me except my alienated father who I reconnected with after I graduated from college in 1994. I got to spend seven precious years with my father before he got diagnosed with bone cancer and ultimately died by suicide on September 14th, 2001, a couple days after the fateful 9/11 attacks that would change the trajectory of my life forever. My dad didn’t want to die but he shared in a note that the “pain and confusion” had got to be too much for him. I didn’t give a f*ck about anything but my father after I learned he had throat cancer that later metastasized to terminal bone cancer because of medical neglect in rural Maine. He was my everything for good reason. He actually gave a f*ck about me, my needs, my safety, and my future. And in the end, it would be my father’s home that ended up protecting me and saving me and my husband Lee’s life.
MILITARY LIFE, PTSD, AND MEDICAL RETIREMENT:
In 1996, I joined the Maine Air National Guard for the student loan repayment program and the G.I. Bill so I could get a master’s degree. One weekend a month, two weeks a year my ass. By 2001, I was fleeing retaliation from my first abusive squadron after reporting sex crimes and getting beat for doing so. I was traveling four hours one way to the Massachusetts Military Reservation in Cape Cod to continue my career progression in satellite communications. Ultimately, I wanted to get promoted and work full-time as a Leadership School instructor. But after 9/11, I was stop lossed by the government from 2001 to 2005 because the Air Force classified my job as a “critical career field.” My commander might try to convince himself that he was “helping me” but what he actually did was keep me trapped with abusive, toxic leadership, poisoned me on an EPA superfund site military base with lead in the soil, ground water, and pipes, isolated me in a state where I didn’t know anyone, and deprived me of medical and mental health treatment.
After the stop loss was lifted, my toxic military leadership wasted no time presenting me with bogus “substandard performance” paperwork threatening to take rank to get rid of me with no real justification aside from hate and bias. This was the incident that forced me to transfer from the Massachusetts Air National Guard back to the Maine Air National Guard but I had to find a new job because there was no way in hell I was going back to the first squadron I fled. If I had a choice, I would have left the military immediately after my father’s suicide in 2001 and never looked back. Instead, I was trapped at this second base for four years and I lost the next 20 years of my life to undiagnosed chronic lead poisoning from this military base taken over by the EPA in 2004 while I was stationed there. Bottled water showed up on the scene but military leadership never said a word to us about lead in the ground water, galvanized pipes that fed water to base housing, or in the soil. My lead levels were 12x higher than acceptable limits.
I met my husband Lee during advanced training at Keesler Air Force Base in March of 2001 after transferring to my second toxic squadron. We were just friends but it was obvious there was a spark. We spent three amazing weeks together and went our separate ways never expecting to see each other again after we both got stop lossed by the U.S. government to support a declaration of war. Lee was assigned to Eielson Air Force Base in Alaska; I was on the East Coast. We didn’t think we had a chance due to geographical proximity alone and we moved on with our lives, what life we had now that the Air Forced owned our asses. We were both miserable in our jobs with toxic leadership who didn’t give two f*cks about their people but sure as f*ck used us to further their careers. I was devastated with the grief of losing my dad; Lee was devastated with grief after losing his two boys in a messy divorce. Due to forced participation, we rose through the ranks and got to experience first hand just how bad things get when good people end up in leadership positions.
In 2005, Lee contacted me out of the blue while I was at the Non Commissioned Officer Academy at Tyndall Air Force Base in Florida. We were both positioned for E-7 (MSgt) at this point in our careers and because we were both trapped with no way out, we gave it all we had at our own expense. Luckily for the Air Force, our trauma response is perfection and hard work. What other choice did we have? Suicide? AWOL? A dishonorable discharge? I would later learn from Lee that he reached out to me in a time of mental health distress and what he didn’t know and I never talked about is I too was struggling in silence with my own mental health battles, both of us naively unaware that the trauma went all the way back to childhood and was compounded by the abusive leaders we worked for. F*ck the U.S. military and all their narcissistic, sociopathic leaders who could care less if we live or die as long as we are kissing their asses, doing everything we are told, and complying with every demand. We’re humans; not robots. Comply or die isn’t gonna work for us.
Lee and I made a commitment to one another in the fall of 2005 after meeting up during his mid-tour leave; he was on a one year short tour in Korea. In 2006, I spent a few months with him at McChord Air Force Base in Washington state and we got engaged. And then I left him to go to Emergency Management / CBRNE training at Fort Leonard Wood in Missouri. We both gave up over a decade of investment in the highly stressful mobile communications squadrons. Lee made plans to transfer to my new Civil Engineer Squadron at the Maine Air National Guard. And this is where all our problems would catch up with us because once again we were forced to work for toxic military leadership. By 2008, we fell out to no fault of our own. Lee had invested all his time in active duty and I had invested all my time in the National Guard as a federal technician, on orders, on federal stop loss orders, and as a weekend warrior. We were spent after the way we were treated by leadership, the high operations tempo after 9/11, and literally zero f*cking healthcare.
I fell out permanently during an Operational Readiness Exercise in Gulfport, Mississippi in the summer of 2008. I had years of untreated mental health issues from childhood trauma, military sexual trauma (MST), a suicide in the family, gender discrimination, abuse, retaliation, and chronic lead poisoning. The lead poisoning went undiagnosed and untreated while I slowly lost function of my brain and body. I was gaining weight for no reason, I was struggling with exercise, I had debilitating migraines, and my mind was overwhelmed. I reached a point where I could no longer handle any abuse and stress. At first things were going better at the third squadron until leadership found out in 2007 that I was being treated for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder for MST. Once my toxic military leadership found out about this, everything started going down hill for me. My healthcare was not anonymous and I was paranoid about who knew what and how they would treat me. And of course, my fears were confirmed. Despite being really sick and trying the best I could, my supervisor was pushing me to my limits, ostracizing me, isolating me, sabotaging me, and literally gaslighting a service member who was traumatized and sick. Our Commander finished us.
Lee couldn’t take one more second of the toxic U.S. military either. He fell apart after witnessing what happened to me and how our commander was kicking me while I was down. Kindness and support would have made all the difference in the world but instead they treated me like I was “crazy” and discarded me as if I wasn’t even a human. All of my military leadership’s actions from the time they found out about the military sexual trauma counseling and the Prozac until I was retired were cruel, abusive, hateful, and sociopathic given the behavior would push most people to suicide. We left this squadron broken and beat down too. Eventually I will write about all three squadrons because there is a long story at all of them. But things got so bad at the third squadron that we had to contact a Senator to help us with the discharge and medical retirement process. In 2010, our commander continued to treat us poorly and beat us down despite admitting to him that we were not doing well and pleading for his help to discharge us as quickly as possible.
AFTER MILITARY SERVICE, LEE WANTS TO BE WITH HIS KIDS:
In 2009, Lee and I went to Tennessee for a couple weeks to spend some time with his kids. Lee apparently asked his kids if they wanted to live with him now that his military career was over and they did. We don’t even remember how this all went down but the fact is two young boys were living with us in Maine. I was really excited for Lee given how my evil mother alienated me from my loving father… but what we didn’t know is that a few months later a whole new level of abuse and harassment was about to be unleashed on us for no reason aside from GREED. Not only were we taking care of two boys financially but we were also complying with the child support order and paying the ex-wife monthly. Lee was the only one working full-time and he was supporting a family of four. He was not doing well but he’s a good man and excellent provider, also what choice did we have? I was sick with undiagnosed chronic lead poisoning and doing the best I could. We were struggling financially because we were paying her child support while we had custody of the kids. We learned the hard way the ex-wife was not going to give up her child support money.
The trigger for the ex-wife’s unbridled abuse was the legal paperwork she received from our attorney to make the custody arrangement official and stop the child support payments to her while the kids were in our custody. This paperwork unleashed the firestorm of hate and mistreatment we were about to endure. The ex-wife was able to gaslight and create stress in our home simply by calling the two boys all the time, inserting herself in our household, and making demands. She would not respect our schedules and peace and demanded that we all cater to her and her needs. This was creating tension in the household because it was as if she was living with us and dictating our every move. She would not cooperate with us around their health needs, health history, or give us access to insurance information. The kids didn’t understand that her over involvement, custodial interference, and manipulation was harming both Lee and I mentally and physically. We were trying to escape this kind of toxic behavior after what we experienced in childhood and in the military.
But we appeared strong because Lee’s kids were worth fighting for.
LEE’S EX-WIFE WEAPONIZES THE SYSTEM:
By November 2009, the oldest son told us his mother bought him a ticket to go back to Tennessee for a funeral and he never came back. We still don’t know if there was any “funeral” but nonetheless we were heartbroken. And the next thing we knew, the oldest son was being used as a weapon to help his mother paint us in a negative light so we would lose custody of the youngest kid. And here’s how she did it. She sent Lee an e-mail telling him that the custody arrangement was no longer working out. We talked to the youngest about the letter and his mother’s demands and he still wanted to stay with us. We complied with his wishes and proceeded with doing what was best for him. In early December, the ex-wife called Lee and threatened that she was taking custody of both boys and he would never see them again. She meant it and Lee knew it. This triggered a suicidal tailspin of which I didn’t have the skills to help him through but I tried to comfort and help him as best I could. I didn’t know why he was in emotional dysregulation but what I did know was he was in pain and hurting. The ex-wife called our local police department and used this incident to create a narrative accusing Lee of abusing me. He was arrested for domestic violence. Lee never abused me, held a top secret security clearance, and had zero criminal history.
The evil we encountered is like nothing I have ever experienced before. I had dealt with a lot of narcissists in my day and knew they abused the system to harm their victims but I just assumed this was military specific. No it is not. I could not believe someone would actually call a police department and make a false report. Lee never abused me in any way. And until the custody issue came up, the ex-wife never accused Lee of being an abuser because it’s a bold face lie. This allegation came out of nowhere like some move out of a playbook. The incompetent police twisted my words to fit a domestic violence scenario but never once asked me about any history related to what they were calling domestic violence in our relationship. So basically the police department made an arrest on the word of an ex-wife who was calling from out-of-state. Then when confronted, she tried to blame the phone call to the police on the youngest son. But the ex-wife, her mother, and Lee’s oldest son celebrated his arrest and illegal detainment with glee because Lee was now a “jailbird” and his arrest would ruin his chances of maintaining custody of the youngest kid.
EX MOTHER-IN-LAW’S FACEBOOK POST:
This was a post on Facebook by the ex-wife’s mother. Both Jennifer and Lee served for over fifteen years honorably in the Air Force and Air National Guard, including being stop-lossed. They were both medically disqualified for deployment to Iraq in 2009 due to post traumatic stress disorder and physical disabilities including brain injuries hence the early medical retirement. Re-reading this dehumanizing comment that was obviously public is painful. This is how Lee’s abusive ex-wife spoke to him and treated him and now you know where it comes from. Lee loves his kids and wanted shared custody for a reason. In this particular comment, the adults in the household are referring to Lee as a “jailbird” and laughing because they lied and successfully weaponized the civilian justice system by creating a domestic violence narrative. Again, Lee got falsely arrested for abuse of Jennifer. He never spent any time in jail; but he did have to pay cash bail to be set free. Lee’s ex-wife should have been charged with across state line crimes for this evil act.
TEXT MESSAGE FROM OLDEST SON AFTER FALSE ARREST:
The ex-wife used the domestic violence charge and Lee’s post traumatic stress to make him appear “crazy” and “dangerous” to manufacture a case for taking back the youngest son. We were doing just fine until this lunatic entered our lives, started gaslighting both of us, and created undue stress that was too much for us to handle. There was no reasoning with her. She wanted to be in control and deep down we knew greed was driving the motive for the child support money that she didn’t want to stop. She didn’t care one bit about the two boys or she wouldn’t have alienated them from a loving father with no true justification. She wasn’t satisfied with ruining Lee’s life and reputation; she wanted to destroy mine too. She started with an on-line comment on a local “support the police” page and accused me of “faking PTSD to get out of going to Iraq.” I found out about it from someone in the community. I stood up for myself and the response I got from someone else was “why don’t you go kill yourself, like your father did.” Only the local police department knew my father died by suicide because they were the same agency who investigated it.
We just want the Air Force to know that because you didn’t address yet another abuser, we all suffered the consequences in the most painful and heinous of ways. Because you didn’t hold this abusive military spouse accountable, she was emboldened to weaponize the system again. -Jennifer & Lee Norris
I didn’t remember how things unfolded because the ongoing abuse overwhelmed me as an innocent bystander. But I read through my e-mails in 2010 and found a treasure trove of evidence to help me piece together what happened to us. I documented what was going on for the custody case to help Lee. He was not doing well after he was falsely arrested and forced into homelessness because of an unnecessary “temporary restraining order” while he was still working full-time to provide for the family, including me. I was disabled after being trapped with abusers during my extended, unwanted military service and Lee’s ex-wife not only dehumanized and erased my experiences but she falsely accused me of faking Post Traumatic Stress of which she never should of known about. One of Lee’s kids must have overheard me and Lee while they were living with us because I never spoke to anyone about what happened to me except Lee and my healthcare team. It was private until she disclosed my health information on-line in an attempt to hurt me. But what she doesn’t know is she was the inspiration and reason I went public with my story to take the power back.
In March 2010, the ex-wife was insisting that the youngest kid be returned to her and because she was ratcheting up the on-line abuse and the phone calls to the police, we complied. For example, she was calling the police accusing Jennifer of harassing her when in fact she was harassing Jennifer simply to hurt Lee. Our mental health could not take one more second of these lies and torture. The ex-wife was repeating the same obsessive phone calls she made to Lee’s military chain of command to our local police. I had completely shut down in shock at the entire scenario. I couldn’t believe what I was going through in the home my father gave me to protect myself. I couldn’t help think if not for Lee, I never would have been exposed to any of this. But, the danger was in the home in the form of Lee’s kids. It wasn’t Lee’s fault; he was a victim too. Our notes include details about how stressed out the younger kid was because his mom called every day to make sure the “domestic abuser” and “crazy ptsd veteran” weren’t hurting him. What this woman was doing to this child and to our household was harming all of us. We were living in fight flight mode waiting for the next outlandish attack and despite us not wanting to send the youngest child home to this abuser, we were forced to in an effort to remove the stressor and prevent suicide.
The ex-wife gaslit Lee into another suicidal tailspin by using the first false accusation of domestic violence and subsequent illegal arrest as proof that he will not have custody of the youngest son either. Lee fell into another emotional dysregulation episode and once again I didn’t know what was said or what happened but I was witnessing a man hurting and in pain. This time I called emergency services for medical help for Lee but instead the local cops would show up and use it as an opportunity to create another “domestic altercation” narrative and retaliate against the finance committee member they hated for cutting their bloated budget. This was supposed to be a suicide intervention because the ex-wife was torturing all of us, gaslighting us, and creating the mental health crisis and suicidal ideation in two very sick and disabled veterans. We were in crisis because of everything she had done to us thus far and the fact that she successfully weaponized the system against us. These bad actors were clearly using each other to make us lose credibility and both had financial motives. Do not underestimate the power of greed, jealousy and revenge.
“DOMESTIC ALTERCATION VICTIM” IS CHARGED WITH FELONY:
I was downstairs in my half basement bedroom nursing an accidental leg injury and sitting on a couch. Two police officers showed up and interviewed everyone in the house except me and I was the one who called for emergency services this time. They came to me down in the half basement last. They didn’t ask me anything. They didn’t interview me. They just handed me a summons for a felony alcohol charge that involved alcohol Lee had bought. Lee was not doing well and he made a poor decision when he decided to buy the alcohol but had he not bought the alcohol, I never would have been charged with anything, unless the cops made up some other lie. This has negatively impacted my marriage because I was legit resentful that Lee’s ex-wife falsely accused my husband of abusing me and got him arrested for domestic violence in a small town, triggered two suicidal tailspins threatening to keep his children away from him, disparaged my character and reputation on-line in an evil attempt to f*ck with me and Lee emotionally while we were sick and untreated, ruining our peace and safety in our home, and using the local police department as weapons because she knew they didn’t like me after the finance committee voted to cut two vacant police officer positions.
The local police showed up but not to help Lee, they gunned for me. Lee was emotionally overwhelmed, pacing back and forth in crisis, and feeling suicidal… and that’s why I called emergency services for mental health intervention (I wasn’t doing well either) but they didn’t have a two way conversation with me. Here’s where it gets really interesting. So three months earlier they showed up at our house at the beck and call of an abusive ex-wife from out-of-state and Lee was falsely arrested and charged with domestic violence; I was the alleged “victim.” But when the supposed domestic violence “victim” calls for help personally, they didn’t ask me one question, didn’t ask me what happened, didn’t care about my well-being whatsoever, and handed me a summons for an alcohol charge for Lee’s beer while I was nursing an accidental leg injury. They didn’t give a f*ck if Lee was an abuser and I was a victim, even though that is the narrative they created in December 2009 and in this incident when they later sold me out in a defamatory newspaper article. They didn’t appear to care who the victim was in the “domestic altercation” narrative they created and they used the opportunity to retaliate instead. The officer bulldozing his way through our home and disrespecting the illegal search and seizure clause of the constitution just happened to be an officer who was accused of not only abusing citizens in a 2005 disciplinary action letter but he later shot a suicidal woman with mental illness, a pattern in policing in Maine.
I went to the hospital to tend to my injuries after the crooked cops left the house.
I didn’t know the story behind why Lee wanted to divorce this woman but I do now. She is one of the most abusive, toxic, and evil people I have ever laid eyes on. And now I have deep empathy for what Lee experienced while married to her and when he went through his divorce. I don’t hate very many people but I hate this b*tch for kicking two disabled veterans while they were down in the most heinous of ways. She made up lies and f*cked us. Every communication I had with the ex-wife while the kids were in our custody was kind, cooperative, and an attempt at teamwork. We hired an attorney to help us with the child custody arrangements because we shouldn’t have to pay her child support money while we had the kids in our custody, but that’s exactly what happened. We were broke, beat down, and now both charged with felonies. I was done. I couldn’t do this anymore and shortly after this incident, I was checked into a Veteran Affairs psychiatric ward in Massachusetts in April 2010 because I had suicidal ideation after all the trauma we just experienced.
The year 2010 was a nightmare and I can’t believe Lee and I made it out alive. I know it was our love for one another that helped us conquer this level of evil. Because while all these people were pointing fingers at us and shaming us for well basically existing and becoming a target of evil, bad actors, we had each other. We might have been sick, depressed, and on the verge of death but we had each other to love, to support, to help, and to be with at the end of the day. Although I know that marrying Lee brought me a whole new level of trauma because of his abusive ex and her sycophants, I also knew that he didn’t ask for any of this either and they beat him into depression and suicidal ideation too. I felt protective of Lee and he was protective of me. We chose each other because we were safe and we were open and willing to giving the two kids all of us. But high conflict baby mama was jealous, petty, and greedy. She had zero interest in giving us custody of the kids. As a matter of fact both of them were gone within 9 months. The youngest kid wanted to stay with us but we were forced to return him or someone was going to die. We chose life over her lies and destruction.
She went Betty Broderick on our asses.
THE AFTERMATH OF NARCISSISTIC ABUSE:
After Lee returned the youngest child and spent some time in Tennessee getting help at the VA, I was forced into a psychiatric ward I wish I had never been admitted to for suicidal ideation. The VA locked me up on a male and female ward in Massachusetts isolated from my home in Maine. I felt trapped and vulnerable. Luckily, the staff were decent but the policies and protocols were not. We were legit locked up like a prison. I had a room to myself but the door didn’t lock and it buzzed every time someone opened it. I was so freaked out all I wanted to do was read and sleep but of course they forced participation. Our shoes were without laces, psychiatric drugs were the norm, and I told them everything they wanted to hear so I could get out of this facility within 72 hours. I learned that being trapped is my biggest trigger, confirmed by two more times I would be detained illegally by authorities, once at the airport for false positive “bomb residue test” and again when the local cops hauled me in the back of their cop car to a hospital for a fake suicide evaluation after two veterans swatted me. I was thankful the hospitals wanted me out as much as I wanted out and went into hibernation and isolation to prevent any of this from ever happening again.
All charges were dropped after we both asked for a jury trial, which we were entitled to because these were felony charges. Lee’s charges were dropped quickly because I am not a victim and of course I am not going to cooperate in a false narrative. There was no way in hell we were going to plea out to false allegations, lawyer or not. And when Jennifer went to court to plead not guilty and to ask for a jury trial, the police were present in the courtroom and were visibly upset that this occurred and did not hide their anger in the courtroom in front of everyone, including the judge. I felt like I was in a movie watching this all go down. I couldn’t believe the outright vocal anger displayed by the cops when I exercised my right to retain a jury of my peers to decide my guilt after they heard the whole story. They knew right then and there that their false charges were not going to stick and they were pissed that I knew what my rights were and exercised them. I also had a conversation with a friend in the hallway and someone walked up to me to intimidate me while I was minding my own business. The local court system also denied us a court appointed lawyer based on income despite never asking us anything about our circumstances.
This experience shook us and made us realize that abuse of authority runs rampant.
Lee and I hit rock bottom in 2010. Everything came crashing down around us including our health. We went through a beatdown via the internet, the cops, and our military commander. We unwillingly gave up custody of the kids to save our lives. We were fighting off PTSD, chronic pain, physical ailments, and suicidal ideation. I don’t remember a lot but what I do remember was offering someone who was going to be homeless a place to stay and the next thing I know his twin brother moved in too. They ended up being pill heads who were stealing from us and bringing people into our home who were shady and dangerous. We had strangers in our home who not only were criminals and toxic but they stole our credit card in the middle of the night and racked up $20,000 in charges over the course of one month. We didn’t have all the internet banking we have now and Lee and I didn’t realize the card had been stolen until we got the bill. USAA f*cked us and wouldn’t honor our fraud claim because the person was living in our home and we “gave” them access. We came up with a $1000 for first month’s rent and a deposit to get them out of our home. We helped find the apartment and paid the landlord with the “promise” that we would continue helping them. Nope. Get the f*ck out of our home and we ain’t paying sh*t for you.
We helped these thugs realize you don’t f*ck with us, we’re smarter.
We don’t remember much from 2010-2011 and then I woke up from a trance and apparently tried to save me and Lee’s reputation. I wrote to Cop Block and I wrote a letter to the editor after the town put up signs saying they do not allow domestic violence within their town limits, unless you’re me of course. They made up domestic violence charges and arrested my husband but then exposed themselves when they charged the “domestic violence victim” with a felony after they called for help. What help was needed they wouldn’t know because they had a one way conversation with me and handed me a summons instead. These new signs were a joke given our experiences with Lee’s ex-wife and the gestapo police department lying and making up charges just to f*ck us up. They did this to two disabled veterans both with trauma and brain injuries. It’s the lowest of the low. But it compelled me to say something about the lies, their motives, and our truth. It also helped me take the power back a little. Only one newspaper would print our letter to the editor about the cops and their fake domestic violence signs. The newspaper who printed the local police’s false narrative refused to print the letter to the editor. They were in bed with the “authorities” and didn’t give a rat’s ass about the citizens. I dug a little and found the most heinous disciplinary action in 2005, the newspapers helped bury it.
JENNIFER IS EMPOWERED TO TELL HER STORY:
I tried to move on with my life and started dabbling with social media more. I would quickly learn that a new documentary about military sexual trauma was being released in 2012. I started following their efforts and the efforts of other’s involved in what I thought would be a “movement.” What I cared about the most was those who were still trapped in the situations in the active duty so I volunteered for a rape crisis center dedicated to victims of military crime. Things were going well with these efforts and I kept building momentum on-line so I rolled with it. People were listening and I felt heard for the first time. My official medical retirement was wrapping up and I was truly free. I did not hold back on social media about my feelings, my experiences, and why we needed reform. I started going to movie screenings, I did media interviews about my story, and I was interacting with other folks who also came forward about their awful and shocking experiences as a victim of crime in a setting you are trapped in. I learned that I wasn’t the only one who didn’t get justice, I wasn’t the only one pushed to suicidal ideation, I wasn’t the only one who lost my career unfairly, and I wasn’t the only one who wanted accountability and justice. This is when Justice for MST Survivors would be born on Facebook but soon morphed to Military Justice for All after doing tons of research about violent crime, murder, missing cases, and suicide in the military.
In 2012, I was invited by a civilian run organization to speak in Washington D.C. to request congressional hearings. They claimed to fight for our service members but that’s not what I witnessed after only a short time with this organization. What they were doing was trying to control the direction of a movement to include legislation that only addressed sexual assault. They were not willing to recognize that sexual assault is connected to everything including domestic violence, murder, missing cases, and suicide. These people were laser focused on one topic and would not stray outside their made up boundaries. The more they tried to control me, the more they used me, and the more they disrespected my experiences and pushed their agenda on me, the more I disliked them and wanted to distance myself from them. But before things went sour, I was invited to speak to Congress about my experiences on January 23, 2013, the same day the DoD lifted the women in combat ban. Protect Our Defenders (PoD) was dominating the headlines in this arena and referring the media to me to tell my story. Despite me sharing my story, that all crime was problematic, and males were the majority of victims, the media cut it all out and created the damsel in distress narrative because that’s what supported the new Hollywood documentary and the sexual assault only bill PoD was pushing on behalf of now retired Rep. Jackie Speier (D-CA).
I did a f*ck ton of research to make sure I was well prepared for the hundreds of media interviews I did over the course of a couple years. It was non-stop media from Fall 2012 to March 2014 and I did all of the interviews I could to take advantage of an opportunity to speak on behalf of those silenced while serving. The lower enlisted are the majority of victims because of their low rank and vulnerability and to this day, no one in positions of power and influence are speaking on behalf of those trapped in dangerous situations with no way out. After my testimony to Congress elevated my efforts, I started fighting hard for all military crime to be included in legislation. At the time it appeared no one was listening… except Senator Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY). She held another hearing where four more service members testified in March 2013 and by May 2013 I was introducing the Military Justice Improvement Act with her and other veterans. Protect Our Defenders was not supportive of me and in a couple months would turn on me because I would not comply. They were not happy that Jackie Speier’s sexual assault only bill got shut down. I didn’t give a f*ck. My fight was not for a politician; my fight was for those serving in the military who went through the hell I did because they too didn’t want to be raped or murdered or die by suicide. After introducing the original MJIA, a PoD representative would remind me I sold Speier out when I said this was the best bill on the hill in a television interview.
I kept pushing Gillibrand’s bill because it was better than fighting for one goddamn crime. I was here to help those who still served but I would quickly come to realize this was a pipe dream, kind of like the farce of “freedom” (rolling my eyes thinking about the DoD’s back door draft: stop loss). I went out to New Mexico in June 2013 to support a documentary highlighting male victims of crime in the military. I got a hotel, met up with the “Director” of the rape crisis center I volunteered for, and we continued working while also simultaneously doing media interviews. And then I got a phone call from the documentary filmmaker, also a “MST survivor.” He asked me to pick up someone I didn’t know at the airport. I told him I couldn’t do it; I don’t remember if I told him why but I don’t owe an explanation. We went to the documentary premiere and after party and felt some weirdness but we didn’t take it personally. I went home. And the next thing I know, the guy who I didn’t pick up at the airport is coming at me on Twitter calling me a “bitch and a snob,” this guy and the filmmaker were doxxing me and making me and Lee look bad using the defamatory newspaper article we couldn’t get them to take down despite the charges being dropped, another woman veteran posted a fake “cease and desist” letter, and an entire group of people was bullying me because I guess I didn’t matter once they found dirt on me. It ripped my soul out to have these false allegations used against me by veterans I supported.
MORE NARCISSISTIC ABUSE FROM FAME SEEKING VETERANS:
I couldn’t believe what was happening and I couldn’t believe the internet bullying was happening again and once again, I couldn’t hold anyone accountable because the crimes were across state lines. I shut my personal Facebook page down to stop the conduit of unnecessary hate, bullying, and abuse and I created a website so I could start focusing on collecting data to prove why we needed the Military Justice Improvement Act versus the sexual assault only legislation. You see, these people who were in these documentaries were also connected to Protect Our Defenders and Rep. Jackie Speier. Apparently fighting for a bill that included all military crime interfered with their personal goals. Why the f*ck can’t I fight for what the f*ck I want? Why the f*ck can’t I say no I am not picking up your buddy at the airport? And why the f*ck can’t I decide I don’t like someone because their behavior is f*cking toxic. These people were just like the military: comply or die. They didn’t give two f*cks that their bullying might push someone to suicide. These were not legit victim advocates despite their claim that they were; they were keyboard warriors. No sexual assault victim advocate is going to act like they did and erase and minimize another human being, one that has every f*cking right to do what they want. You are not the boss of me!
Me: Protect Our Defenders, why aren’t you doing anything about your advocates bullying people they don’t even know?
PoD: Maybe you need to take a break.
Me in my Head: F*ck you. I will never talk to or support you again.
Circa: June 2013
I kept fighting for the Military Justice Improvement Act despite the hate and bullying. I took a beating on-line but civilians, organizations, other congressional members including both parties, and the internet started supporting the bill and it took off in the Fall of 2013. Despite the on-line abuse and harassment, the country was supporting our all military crime bill! So what did Protect Our Defenders do? They pushed me out of the media they controlled, pushed me out of the Washington D.C. fight for this legislation, and took over the very bill they gave me hard time about from the day that it was introduced. These people are f*cking crooked. And then they coordinated inviting the same people involved in bullying me about the bill to Washington D.C. to take a stand on behalf of the bill. They erased that the bill was for all crime and pushed a sexual assault only narrative. The very people in the documentary who fought me and didn’t want this bill were all in Washington D.C. stealing it from the original survivors who testified and introduced the legislation. I couldn’t believe what I was witnessing. These folks cared more about their fame than they did crime victims and any life-saving legislation that was needed for our active duty. It was sickening. Eventually, I will lay it all out in chronological order and show you how they went from bullying me about the bill to representing it. I documented their every move.
I worked in silence while I fought publicly for the MJIA on social media. I was collecting military crime research, I was tracking who was doing what and when, and I was still doing media interviews. I was doing the job of a historian not only for research purposes but to track current news on my website. I also started looking into female crime because of our awful experiences with Lee’s lying and abusive ex-wife and now these “advocates” who wanted me dead. I shut down and kept my circle small to maintain the energy needed to make it to the vote for the MJIA but I was crumbling. The on-line abuse from toxic veterans was wearing me down; these folks were narcissistic abusers. They hated me so they wanted everyone to hate me too and the hate continues to this day 10 years later. I just wanted to see the MJIA bill until the end considering I went through hell for it. I went out to California to push a National Guard bill that would support removing sexual assault investigations from the chain of command and things went sour with two more “veteran advocates.” I felt like everyone expected me to do all the work while they just rode on my coattails and stole what I accomplished. Meanwhile, the bullies are still coming at me and we were going on nine months of abuse. I collected the evidence as the abuse was occurring and it was beating my soul down. I couldn’t handle the prolonged trauma and stress anymore.
I started getting desperate for the abuse to stop and read on-line that if you expose the behavior, they are more likely to stop. It was worth a shot. So as the abuse rolled in, I started posting screenshots and writing articles about the abuse to document it, make it obvious who the bully and abusers were, and to make it f*cking stop. I couldn’t handle this sh*t anymore. I had been through a life-time of this kind of abuse starting with my mother, her second husband, military perpetrators, toxic military leaders, Lee’s ex-wife (and her family), and now these people who refused to work as a team and instead wanted to ruin anyone they couldn’t control. It was ridiculous. Why couldn’t I just be and exercise the same rights I supposedly “fought for” while serving. I realize it’s all smoke and mirrors but come on, I don’t have a right to freedom of speech and expression? Are you kidding me? So what I am learning is everyone wants me to keep my mouth shut? I can’t do this anymore. I have a right to be my authentic self, fight for what’s important to me, and speak my truth in whatever way I want. After my military experiences, no one is going to ever again tell me I can’t speak when I had to remain quiet for years to stay safe. F*ck you.
But wait, there’s more…
RAPE CRISIS CENTER “DIRECTOR” WEAPONIZES THE SYSTEM:
SWATTING
On the morning of March 5, 2014, I woke up to my e-mail not working after three years of volunteering with this Rape Crisis Center. As evidenced by my e-mails to her, I held this hypocritical “Director” accountable for pretending she stands for all survivors yet the entire time I worked for her she would beat me down with her other volunteers anytime she was jealous and/or dissatisfied with me in any way; she was a bully and abuser. I only stayed because I had momentum and was on my way to possibly passing a bill that would be a very small stepping stone to military justice. We would never overlook bullies in the chain of command harming the people we helped but I was expected to take the beating from these sociopathic, greedy veterans who served for a day and only cared about one thing: fame. If it wasn’t for the Harvey Weinstein funded documentary they were all in, none of them would be anyone. Hollywood, PoD, and the DoD gave these toxic individuals a platform and they abused their platform thinking they were in control of all efforts despite not having the experience to truly represent those who served for any extended length of time; the longer you serve, the more you endure. And, basically what this turned into is “I did all the work and she took all the credit” in true toxic military leadership style.
I didn’t care if she “fired” me from this role, I just wanted access to three years of work which she never gave to me and I lost. I was documenting history for our troops and tracking everything to stay on top of what was needed so we could tackle the issues one by one. It makes me sick that she could go through my professional work and make it her own. She obviously didn’t like me taking a genuine stand for myself and telling the truth about her and the other abusers in the “MST community.” So in retaliation she must have used the one article on my site that mentioned “suicide” on March 5th to create a “suicidal veteran” narrative with the cops she knew I was afraid of. It couldn’t be any further from the truth. If you read what I wrote, I was taking a stand for veterans who were bullied to the point of suicidal ideation.
How many jobs have I worked at where “It’s Against our Policy” ended it all. The ironic thing: nothing is ever in writing, standards have not been set (or the boss can do whatever and control you), and once you agree to volunteer, you lose your freedom of speech? Never mind the abuse and bullying that you are trying to address on your own because everybody wants to look the other way and say ‘It’s none of my business’. Shall we wait until someone has died by suicide simply because they can’t take it anymore? Every time I have blown the whistle on the inner dynamics of a job, an organization, and now a movement, I have been the one who was punished…
I was done with her, her toxic, the MST community’s toxic, and was in bed. The vote on the Military Justice Improvement Act was the very next day. I had a reason to stay alive because a bill I introduced and fought for had a very good chance of passing. And Lee and I would have headed to Washington D.C. to celebrate this very small victory for our active duty: all crime would be included in the legislation, not just sexual assault. Meanwhile, my husband let my service dog out to go to the bathroom and was met with police officers under the cover of darkness standing behind the corner of our home with loaded guns drawn on him. If my husband or my service dog had been shot, I would be dead via “suicide by cop” too. Instead, we knew how to remain calm in these situations after all the toxic we had dealt with in the Air Force. The cops demanded that I get out of bed because they had to take me to the hospital per their “policy” for a suicide risk assessment. They dropped me off at the hospital for a fake suicide assessment and I was quickly released. Lee picked me up and we went home broken and defeated praying the MJIA would pass.
The MJIA did not pass after all the time we invested (while we were sick). The majority of the Senate voted in favor of the bill but Senate leadership invoked a cloture which meant 3/5’s of a majority had to vote in favor of the bill for it to pass; the vote was 55 yays and 45 nays. We were devastated and we knew it was all over for now. We were also sickened by what we witnessed in the “MST community.” These folks were the most toxic individuals we ever laid eyes on, aside from Lee’s ex-wife, the expert weaponizer of the system. The fact that they pretended to be “veteran advocates” while they treated medically retired disabled veterans in this abusive and illegal way in public was shocking. This behavior shook both Lee and I because it made us realize that bad actors have no problem calling the police, making up lies, and weaponizing the system to cause grave harm (or death) to their targets. We blocked all these scumbags, isolated in our home, went radio silent on social media, and quietly collected data in our efforts to help our active duty get the justice they truly deserve. Two weeks after getting swatted with the “suicidal veteran” narrative, the same cop who falsely charged me with a felony alcohol charge after I called for help for Lee who was suicidal in 2010… shot a suicidal woman with mental illness brandishing a knife.
Related Links:
“Notice” to Defame and Libel Veteran Advocate
“Rape Crisis Center Director”: It’s Against Our Policy
A Competition of Suffering: How to Take Out Successful Advocates (MST)
The Modus Operandi of Social Justice Warriors
Operation Trigger PTSD: Successful
Cyberbully Makes It Clear He is Not Afraid of “Lazy” Service Dog
What Are the Impacts of Stalking or Cyberstalking on a Veteran with PTSD: The Take Down
Female Bullying Can Be Worse
Adult Bullying in MST Community
What is Cyberbullying
How Does One Counter the Impact of Cyberbullying Across State Lines?
Timeline of MST Gang Stalking
Think Progress Promotes MST Bully in Media
Why Can’t We All Get Along?
MST Bully Exhibits Pattern of Controlling Behavior
Holding People Hostage with Suicide
MST Bully Justifies Abuse By Claiming He Knows The Person He is Abusing, so That’s OK
Senator Gillibrand Invited MST Bully to Present to Congress
Ironically, MST Community Members Blame the Victim
What is Stalking?
Organized Gang Stalking in MST Community
And more text threats from the Anonymous Cyberbullies
Another Example of Threats from the MST Cyberbullies
More Threats from MST Cyberbullies to Expose Whatever
How Dare You Call Us MST Media Whores by Wendi Goodman
Cyberbullies Threaten To Expose PTSD Incident From My Past
Study: Internet Trolls Are Psychopathic, Sadistic, Narcissistic
This is how they roll…
UPI: Sexual assault in U.S. military reflects culture of bullying (2014)
What Are the Impacts of Stalking or Cyberstalking on a Veteran with PTSD: The Take Down
Self Proclaimed “MST Advocate” Perjures Herself In a Court of Law in Two States; Has History of Making False Accusations (2014)
Socials:
Facebook: @ftoxicpeople
Twitter: @ftoxicpeople
Instagram: @ftoxicpeople
YouTube: @fktoxicpeople
Other websites: Military Justice for All
Jennifer and Lee 