Brief Synopsis:
After getting caught up on some e-mails during the medical retirement process between 2009-2012, Lee and I would come to realize that our Commander was a real pr*ck. He didn’t give two f*cks about us or our health and in fact his dehumanization and abuse compounded our mental and physical ailments. We were struggling financially, providing for two boys, and unable to work due to our worsening conditions and limited access to the kind of treatment we truly needed. This guy had zero concern for us and treated us both like an inconvenience when we asked for help. Instead of guiding us through the medical retirement process, he was more concerned with punishing us to save his own ass.
It broke my heart to read through my e-mails this afternoon but what I learned is that I took a stand for Lee and I even though I was fighting off suicide too. Lee was not doing well and devastated about losing his bid to get shared custody of his two boys. We were forced to stop fighting for physical custody of the youngest kid to prevent abuse and retaliation from the ex-wife, and ultimately suicidal ideation. Lee was broken and beat down and I was fighting for whatever reputation we had left. I tried to be a mediator for Lee and his ex-wife, Lee and his children, Lee and his parents, and Lee and his military leadership. He checked out and quite frankly I can see why after what I witnessed. Neither of us ever got justice for anything.
Parental Alienation: I Watched What Happened to My Father Happen to My Husband & It Broke Me (all Lee wanted was to spend more time with his kids after the retirement)
I wrote this letter to our Commander after being treated like sh*t all year and reading his one sided take in an official medical retirement report regarding what went down with me during the Operational Readiness Exercise in the summer of 2008. At this point, there were obviously no f*cks given regarding what we feel was the most unprofessional work environment we could ever imagine. This is nothing compared to what we witnessed at this squadron. And my supervisor who knowingly spearheaded the take down and sabotage of a sexual assault victim with post traumatic stress before, during and after the ORE is the highest rank you can make in the enlisted ranks and still active duty in the Air National Guard. It’s sickening. Abusers be running the show folks.
NOTE TO COUNSELOR REGARDING COMMANDER’S NARRATIVE:
FOR THE RECORD (LETTER TO COMMANDER):
August 4, 2010
While my supervisor was taking two to three hour lunches during the work week so he could “bang” his new fling, I was back at the office working very hard to get things prepared for the Operational Readiness Exercise (ORE). He met his new bed buddy at Home Depot while on the job. Anyhoo, my supervisor dumped a lot of his work on me and troop X was playing on the computer, looking at motorcycle web pages, and e-mailing his soon to be ex-wife for hours at a time. Troop X only took direction from my supervisor. I was understandably overwhelmed.
We had an issue with getting a map for plotting. The intelligence office basically didn’t do their job. My supervisor pushed the map job on me as well and I went to some folks up to ops to get some help. Unfortunately, the job was given to me last minute and I was unable to get the necessary support from Ops. Intelligence completely blew us off and told my supervisor that they didn’t have the CDs for that region.
My supervisor kept asking me about it and I finally conceded. I did not have the stripes or contacts to make it happen. My supervisor called Pease since they just had an ORI and we borrowed their maps for our ORE.
My official job at the ORE was Plotter. The maps we had were not the right maps therefore I technically didn’t have a job if I didn’t have a map. So I proceded with keeping notes and coordinating the Recce teams which required me to use the radio.
We had a supply guy augmenting as the recorder and radio operator so he didn’t have a clue in the beginning. I was doing just-in-time training with him while keeping a log of things we needed to tweak and things we wish we had. In addition, I was working with the Recce teams and keeping track of their issues. Again, I did not have a map to work with. But I did have access to communications which helped me to keep track of issues.
Supervisor 2 (when he was in the room) was the team chief. Supervisor 2 knew the least about how things were packed and organized. While I was training someone and keeping track of issues, Supervisor 2 kept interrupting me to do plotting. I told him that we didn’t have the right map therefore we were wasting our time if there was no map.
It was not at the top of my priority list.
You see, Supervisor 2 drinks A LOT! He is what I would refer to as a “wet brain.” He is out in left field somewhere and don’t ask him a question unless u have an hour. He not only over answers but he gives out the wrong information as well. I learned this while on TDY with him working as an Inspector General (IG) inspector. He actually had to do the readiness job on this temporary duty assignment (TDY).
His position at the base keeps him completely wrapped up in his excel spreadsheet and the prime beef position in general. He dumped work on me too. He had me doing data entry that he didn’t want to do.
While working as an IG inspector, I had to gently correct him a few times in front of troops and I had to keep him informed of what was going on at all times because he was just brain dead. He could not grasp the big picture.
So we get to the ORE and Supervisor 2 feels like he has to exert power by using his title and position. He insisted that we work on plotting a plume which could not be done without a map. I told him it wasn’t a priority at that moment knowing that we didn’t have a map. I reminded him of such. After his continued persistence, I asked him to be a team player and do it so I could stay on top of the recce teams and continue training our recorder and taking notes.
He wasn’t doing anything so why didn’t he plot himself?
It would not be illogical for him to do it even if we had a map. He was not involved at all in the readiness ORE preparation and I wasn’t about to do all that work and have him take the crucial time I needed to record our weaknesses and issues while the recce teams we were setting up. Especially since we didn’t have a damn map nor were we using the computer program because there were no inspectors who knew the program, therefore that was not a priority either.
Supervisor 2 left the room and moments later my supervisor comes storming in the room making false allegations against me. I had been working my ass off trying to do everyone’s job and he had the nerve to jump my shit without checking my side of the story. I tried to explain things to him but he refused to listen to me. He accused me of having an attitude when in fact I was in “take care of business mode.”
He told me that I was to give up the radio to the recorder and let him keep notes. He told me that I was the plotter and needed to focus on that job even though we didn’t have a map.
I tried to explain to him what I was doing and then conceded again and told him that I wouldn’t do anything but plotting which meant that I literally would have nothing to do. He didn’t even want me to take notes because that was the supply guys job as recorder. Then he told me that he was removing me from my position and putting me on a Recce team, a position traditionally given to lower ranking individuals. He also took sides with Supervisor 2 and they laughed together while I sat there feeling attacked, ignored, rejected, and ostracized. I couldn’t handle that kind of rejection after having an entire squadron turn their back on me after I turned in some sleazy low life predators. I just felt like I was no longer a part of the team. I even asked my supervisor why my thoughts didn’t matter. And why I was no longer a part of the team.
I wanted to toss that place but instead I went to the bathroom and just cried and cried and cried. I didn’t know what had triggered me at the moment but in retrospect I now realize that I felt backed in a corner with no way out and rejected. Both of these are symptoms of PTSD and are a trigger for me after losing control to a rapist and then getting victimized again when the squadron turned their back on me.
I had a panic attack when I had to put my mask on after crying because I couldn’t breathe. They took me away to the medical clinic because I de-masked. It was there that I shared what had happened and how it triggered my PTSD.
An ORE inspector came to check on me (the same one who told me to take my mask off because he could tell I was struggling). I told him what happened and how it triggered my PTSD and he shared with me that I was the only one that knew what was going on.
Well I concur.
I’ve wanted to get this off my mind since I left. Now you know how I feel.
Other people saw these things happening with my supervisor and Supervisor #2 and feel the same way I do. The two just happened to be “essential” to the mission and everyone else was so busy prepping for the ORI, it went unnoticed or leadership just ignored it.
I blame those two for needlessly ending my career and I resent them. My supervisor had the nerve to come to me at home station and tell me he had no hard feelings. Well I do.
One thing I learned about the Guard is all you good ole boys take care of each other at other people’s expense. And you shouldn’t work hard because it makes other people look bad.
(WE WILL DEFINITELY EXPAND ON HOW THIS SQUADRON TREATED BOTH OF US THE ENTIRE TIME WE WERE STATIONED HERE AND WE WILL ALSO DUMP ALL THE TOXIC WE WITNESSED. THIS IS NOTHING COMPARED TO WHAT’S REALLY GOING ON)
RELATED LINKS:
“I Just Want to Disappear”: The End Result of a Lifetime of Dehumanization and Abuse
Jennifer and Lee: Until Death Do Us Part
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