“I Just Want to Disappear”: The End Result of a Lifetime of Dehumanization and Abuse (2024)

Waiting for darknessWhy doesn’t anybody see nowDeafened by silenceWhy doesn’t anybody hear I’m waiting for darkness Playing with fireBut they’re screaming when they’re burned, yeahOut of the sunlightHasn’t anybody learned I know what they’ll findIt’s in their mindIt’s what they want to seeSpare me from the lightHere comes the nightAnd here I’ll stay Waiting for … More “I Just Want to Disappear”: The End Result of a Lifetime of Dehumanization and Abuse (2024)

Traumatized by Criminals, Toxic Military Leaders, & My Father’s Sudden Death, Then Stop Lossed, Poisoned with Lead, and Suicidal in the Air Force… But I’m Not a “Real” Veteran (2015)

Like a lot of Americans, I have a hard time around 9/11. It’s hard to even write about it but I am going to push through the fear. Like Eleanor Roosevelt has been quoted: “Courage is more exhilarating than fear and in the long run it is easier.” (As I take deep breaths.) This statement … More Traumatized by Criminals, Toxic Military Leaders, & My Father’s Sudden Death, Then Stop Lossed, Poisoned with Lead, and Suicidal in the Air Force… But I’m Not a “Real” Veteran (2015)

Workplace Betrayal & Ostracism: A Letter to the Commander Explaining How Toxic Military Leaders Negatively Impact CPTSD (2010)

Formal Letter to 101st Air Refueling Wing Leadership After Psychological Collapse on Active Duty Orders & Medical Retirement (July 29, 2011) Brief Synopsis: After getting caught up on some e-mails during the medical retirement process between 2009-2012, Lee and I would come to realize that our Commander was a real pr*ck. He didn’t give two f*cks … More Workplace Betrayal & Ostracism: A Letter to the Commander Explaining How Toxic Military Leaders Negatively Impact CPTSD (2010)